I Have Some Science Minded Friends

Like looking down the barrel of a gun, right?

For all two people who read this, a bit of history. This is the CERN Large Hadron Collider located on the border between Switzerland and France and it is massive. Something to the tune of seventeen mile wide circumference (I'm no geographer but it could circumnavigate Vatican city and possibly Luxembourg). This mass of metal and concrete is then cooled to about 1.7 degrees above absolute zero, wow how cool! Soon enough, 3 days from now, it will start doing test runs and it will kill mankind and swallow up the earth. Okay, not really but the theory was that when you take a particle and smash it against other particles at the unprecedented speeds that the LHC can create, one might just generate a balckhole. Suck. "Did anyone just feel that? I think my atoms just got rend one from the other on a microcosmic basis."

While that theory is far fetched and scientifically unsound (Particles moving at LHC speeds collide with earth everyday) I think there's a bigger issue at play here. What's that issue you ask? Well fair reader I will tell you, the cost/benefit problem.

You see the governing body of the LHC, CERN, built the collider for a total cost of about 7 billion Euros (345346 kajillons USD). CERN also raised 1 billion dollars last year in order to determine the existence of the theoretical Higgs bonson particle, which as I understand it will solve the world's water shortage, starvation, and green house gas problem once discovered.

That's a lie, the damn thing was built so physicists could sleep at night know their useless pet projects were still being funded. With real problems in this world, I would hope that the 85 nations that make up the governing body of CERN will next focus their considerable collective resources on something that will benefit society as a whole. I'm not saying that this is completely useless, or that science should be pursued soley for science sake, but with massive globally significant issues facing the world (see above) I think that the money would better be served elsewhere.

So in one sentence or less, unless this shit allows me to build a teleportation device so I can transport into a pretty sorority’s shower, it is a waste of money.